“I am so tired” or “I have so much work to do” is how I start most of my conversations. These complaints rarely express how I’m actually feeling, but they’re always a way to break the ice. But even when I’m not actually tired or don’t have much to do, these complaints still manage to put me in a bad mood and stifle my motivation to complete assignments.
As the first-year excitement of college wears off, it is easy to slip into a headspace where our education feels like something to get over with, rather than something to enjoy. But our college experience should be a service to ourselves. In order to make our education fulfilling and worthwhile, we have to be self-motivated and curious. If we just let our years pass by, we waste countless resources that could enhance our personal growth. As college students, we have to ditch complaint culture and take charge of our own academic well-being.
Just look at Sidechat. Some of our largest, most visible conversations are complaints about Brown’s facilities, our classes or each other. Here’s the crux of the matter: Complaining is easy, and complaining is fun. It’s all too relatable. Most of us are tired, we all have plenty of work to do and “I’m so excited to write my paper due tomorrow!” doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue. Complaining is the surefire force that unites us as college students, making it the perfect conversation starter.
Our negative default isn’t our fault. We are essentially hardwired to be pessimists. Negative experiences cause intense emotional responses and strong memories. And because these bad events stick in our heads, we base our decisions off of them, producing an all-around negative mindset.
To an extent, blowing off steam by venting is a cathartic — and sometimes beneficial — experience. Seeking validation and advice from others can be a healthy step toward overcoming roadblocks or moving past a difficult experience. But never-ending complaints only leave us in an echo chamber of stress and gloom.
If our initial reaction to schoolwork is annoyance, we overlook the incredible opportunities we have as Brown students. Our education is a process to be enjoyed, not just a race to graduate with a big-name degree and a high starting salary. If we only value the University because of its post-grad opportunities, we set ourselves up for four years of exhaustion. And while financial security is a valid academic incentive, if it is the only one, our time here becomes an imposition rather than a privilege.
Of course, students should continue to criticize Brown. Direct feedback and action are necessary checks on an institution with a wide scope of influence, but Sidechat posts and bad attitudes are not the most productive ways to improve the University. Structural change requires informed and organized dialogue, and if anything, a general culture of complaining only dilutes the most important criticisms. There is plenty the administration can do to make Brown a better place, but we should still appreciate the opportunities we have as students here. Gratitude and constructive criticism are not mutually exclusive.
Each of our college experiences is different, but most of us can find more positivity in our everyday lives. An easy way to start? Avoid the complaints we mindlessly attribute to schoolwork. It is easy to approach an assignment as an inconvenient interruption to your TikTok scrolling, or to start every conversation about all of the work we have to do. But then, we sacrifice the passion that could make our learning environment even more enjoyable.
Remember how excited you were to get into Brown? We owe it to ourselves to make the most out of our college experience, and to do so, we have to push past our negative tendencies. Our words can seem unimportant, but they have a real effect on our happiness and stress. There is no need to force a smile all day or completely avoid talking about the hard parts of college, but we can actively choose to change our perspective toward a college experience that we are incredibly lucky to have.
CJ Lair ’28 can be reached at craig_lair@brown.edu. Please send responses to this column to letters@browndailyherald.com and other opinions to opinions@browndailyherald.com.
CJ Lair is a staff columnist at the Brown Daily Herald. He is from Gettysburg, Pennsylvania and plans to study Political Science at Brown. This is his first year writing for a publication, and is especially interested in political developments and their impacts on the Brown community.
