From cussing unicorns to an uproarious sixth-grade love story, Something on the Green’s 16th Biannual 24 Hour Play Festival exemplifies what student theater should be. Featuring four hilarious short plays, the festival came to life over 24 hours, from 7 p.m. on Friday night, when writing began, until 7 p.m. on Saturday, when the brand-new plays were performed.
Upon entering the crowded Upspace in T.F. Green Hall, audience members were greeted by a small black box theater and a litany of Tate McRae songs. Setting the tone for the evening, the playbill attributed a variety of “special thanks” to things such as “Trader Joe’s,” “Sofia’s physics homework,” “tall grandmas everywhere” and “Beyoncé.”
Each play title followed the SOTG acronym, with the first play, “SMMMM oUHHHH tSSS GRRUM,” being no exception. The play — written by Avinoam Levin ’26 and Alicia Joo ’26 — followed the inner workings of the invented company “Unicorn Starbucks.” In it, staff members were tasked with rebuilding their business after a series of setbacks, including a zero-star Yelp rating and a health code violation.
Led by the company founder, Silvermane Sugartoes, the employees, adorned with pink paper horns and business attire, save their dying company through the invention of the Humanccino — a frappuccino made of humans. Featuring cussing unicorns, not-so-subtle Starbucks innuendos and energetic acting performances, “SMMMM oUHHHH tSSS GRRUM” had audience members cracking up from the evening’s outset.
With equally endearing characters and a similar level of playful absurdity, the night continued with Yaffa Segal ’25 and Riley Gramley’s ’25.5 piece, “SAVE oUR tRAGIC GRANDMA.” Johnny, having recently booked a gig as the “after photo” in a weight loss commercial, shares his dream of one day appearing on the silver screen and making his ailing grandmother proud.
Yet after talking to her caretaker, Johnny learns how severe her disease is, and, looking for ways to help her, he calls upon a strange passerby and his magical goat. After paying $8,500 to drink the goat’s coveted milk, the group — consisting of Johnny, the caretaker, the stranger and the goat — proceeds to travel through the grandmother’s memories. The wild, unexpected plot kept viewers on the edge of their seats as the motley crew raced through both time and space — all while keeping the magical goat close at hand.
The third performance of the night took on a “Saturday Night Live” quality. Written by Acadia Phillips ’28, “SPEAKING oF tHE GAYS” follows sixth-grader Marcus, as he navigates a crush on his teacher, Mr. Turner. Marcus shares his feelings through a love note during the first scene. With a musical-theater-worthy rendition of “My Heart Will Go On,” Marcus confesses his feelings in the hopes of taking Mr. Turner to the sixth-grade prom.
With hysterical performances during the students’ sex education presentations, including one sixth-grader receiving “five big booms” for her presentation on abstinence, “SPEAKING oF tHE GAYS” featured a wide range of immensely unique and equally entertaining characters.
One such standout performance included Maren White’s ’27 satirical rendition of sixth-grader “Kyle.” Her backwards baseball cap and nonstop basketball dribbling around the tiny stage intensified the piece’s sketch comedy-like appeal, with Marcus himself even falling for the character at the end of the show.
Finally, the festival’s fourth play, “SHOOTING oVER tHE GRAVE,” written by Thomas Ward ’27, finished the night with equally fantastic and kooky characters. The list of names and characters alone, including “Drew P. Asscheeks,” “Cole N. Oscopy,” and an appearance from former President James Buchanan continued the night’s absurdity.
In a town full of cows with various gastrointestinal issues, Drew, the sheriff, meets up with Buchanan as they track down a recently escaped Oscopy and his “delicious villainy.” With intermittent musical narrations from Silver String Sally, Drew and Buchanan traverse through the Wild West in order to stop Oscopy from finding a hidden treasure.
Ultimately, the piece takes a surprising turn, with Silver String Sally again entering the narrative only to reveal herself as the true villain and forcing both Drew and Oscopy into a shooting match. After Drew wins and proceeds to kill all the remaining characters besides Buchanan, she rides off into the sunset — the audience — using the president’s piggyback ride as her steed.
Overall, Something on the Green’s 24 Hour Play Festival took audience members on a comedic, unpredictable and delightful journey this past Saturday. With their witty writing, compelling characters and memorable stories, each play left audience members cackling.
