TW: suicidal ideation

They provide me with comfort. 

They inspire me to grow. 

They follow me every day, in every moment. 

When I hear them, they stick. 

When I need motivation, they float to the front of my mind. 

I can’t pinpoint the exact moment when I became obsessed with quotes, but I am now. Quotes are not bound by age, gender, or culture, and guide every person who can relate to them. The beauty of quotes is their universality.

“She believed she could, so she did.” — R.S. Grey. 

I first discovered this quote when I was eight years old. My figure skating choreographer gave me a folder containing all the exercises I had learned so I could practice them independently. I flipped to the front page and there it was—the quote that would guide me through life. I didn’t know then how much that quote would mean to me as I grew older. 

It continued to mean 

more to me

The older 

I got. 

Through the ups and downs, the falls 

And failures. 

I found more than just inspiration in: “She believed she could, so she did.” I found comfort, a soothing balm for the soul in times of uncertainty and doubt. 

It meant more than simply coming back after a fall. It meant persevering through life, forgiving a slash on my calf despite no apology, moving forward after a bad exam, or continuing on even after considering leaving life.

It means I will always be there for myself, no matter what happens. I will show up every day and let go of the negativity that others have. Whether it's toxicity, jealousy, or the hate thrown my way, they motivate me to strive for improvement.

"I can. I will. I did." — Me.

This quote also guides my life. It always works. 

I remember being afraid to try my double axel jump after not having done it for over a year. I was at Meehan Auditorium, circling and circling, my way of “popping” or pulling out of a jump, depending on how familiar you are with skating terminology. I kept going in “Circles,” as Post Malone sings, and ironically, that was playing at one point during my circles. 

What am I doing? I ask myself. Come on, do it. JUST DO IT. Nike, Nike, Victory.

Nothing worked. 

I thought back to what I told myself in Tulsa, California, Chicago, Colorado, and especially in Arkansas—when I was away from my primary coaches. When I was at home working with my favorite coaches, they weren’t as experienced in teaching triple jumps. 

I CAN, I WILL, I DID. 

Double Axel—Landed!

This is my process. What goes “round and round” in my head. 

Then came the quote that guided me throughout the 2021 Nationals in Las Vegas. This was my first time doing a complete short and long program at the Championship Senior Level. I had to withdraw in 2019, and I didn’t qualify in 2020. This was my second chance. I wanted it to be better. In a way, it was my first chance. It was good luck to be in Vegas. 

“The sky has no limits. Neither should you.” — Usain Bolt: the GOAT, the LEGEND. 

Someone I’ve always wanted to meet.

Faster than a cheetah. 

That’s him.

That's who I want to be. 

I found solace in this quote. I realized there was no problem, no harm, in aiming high. It's no problem to daydream or wish for a dream to manifest. 

I’m not sure what to think about this quote, though it’s been lingering in my mind for a while.

Should I doubt myself? I do. 

Should I limit myself? I try not to. 

Should I reach for the stars? To space? That’s what I do. 

I want to embody the quotes that occupy my mind. 

I write them down. Over and over and over again. 

In my bullet journal, I color the words according to the rainbow, trace them in gold, cut up magazines, and rearrange them to spell them out. 

I say them over and over again, 

Until I can’t know them any longer. 

They fill my head like clouds on an overcast day, like sunbeams in the summer. 

“Oh, the places you’ll go kid.” 

“I’m not superstitious, just a little stitious.” 

“Karma is my best friend.” 

I love the feeling of living up to my quotes. 

To never “stop believin’.”

These quotes make up much of who I am. 

A forever dreamer, 

Pooja