Dear loyal post- readers, 

I write to you now from the passenger seat of a Toyota Corolla Zipcar going up the New Jersey Turnpike, on the second hour of our early morning journey. Beside me, my roommate Dylan is bravely driving, listening to an eclectic playlist of all our favorite songs. Behind me, my friends Josh and Dean alternate between homework and sleep. I’m writing this with the hope of ignoring all the readings that have piled up over this weekend.

The adventure to get to this point began last spring, when All Things Go released their ridiculously stacked line-up. Over Andrews’ bowls, Dylan and I debated what to do. It was a once-in-a-lifetime festival. It was also seven hours away…in Maryland. We decided to give it a night and see if it still haunted us the next morning. As I slept, I tossed and turned, visions of super graphic ultra modern girls dancing in my head. Needless to say, we really wanted to give it a shot.

Somehow, we managed to get tickets, make a plan over the summer, and drive eight hours without hurting each other or giving up on the trip entirely.

***

I have never been to a music festival before. In fact, I only started getting into live music about a year ago, when I saw Hozier in Boston. I’m a pretty introverted person. I don’t enjoy standing, smushed together, in a sweaty crowd with music so loud I’m worried it will shake my toenails off. I am not, and may never be, the girl who wakes up at dawn to fight for a good spot in the pit. But, ever since that concert, I’ve been chasing music, looking for shows that won’t absolutely break my wallet. There’s something intoxicating about standing in a crowd, glancing around, wondering what has drawn all of us together. What’s their favorite song? How long have they been a fan? What song will they scream the loudest?

While my eardrums may disagree, the sound isn’t overwhelming—it’s encompassing. It fills your bones and pounds like a second heart in your chest. You can sink into the sensation, knowing that everyone around you is beating to the same rhythm. 

You’re safe in knowing that you’ll never see these people again, that you can scream as loud as you want, that you can dance stupidly, that you can cry without judgment—it’s connection and community without the claustrophobia.

***

I arrived at All Things Go armed with common sense and TikTok videos, but no actual idea of what to expect. I’d say that, overall, we did alright. There were a few hiccups, of course. But the good news is that you can skip these mistakes with my newly acquired (and only once-tested) tips and tricks!

1. Be flexible. As I’m sure you heard, Chappell Roan pulled out of All Things Go, both NYC and DC, just a day before she was meant to perform. The announcement was accompanied by many people selling their tickets, upset that their one reason for going had dropped. I bet they were kicking themselves when MUNA replaced her. Now, I’m not going to say I wasn’t a little disappointed, especially since I’ve been a fan of Chappell since before The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess was released. But above all, I’m sympathetic. Fame is a hungry beast, especially with social media. I’d much rather Chappell miss a performance or two than disappear forever, scared away from music by the demanding parasociality of many fans. All this to say, don’t go to a festival just for one artist. Festivals are quite clear that lineups are subject to change. And besides, festival sets are short. Unless your favorite artist is the headliner, they aren’t going to play for longer than an hour. 

2. Bring friends! I am a strong proponent of attending concerts by yourself and letting yourself have that one-on-one moment with your favorite artist. Nothing else besides you and the music. However, at festivals, you want at least one other person, ideally three or four others, partly because there will be a lot of downtime. Bringing card games and gossip is a necessity. But you also need friends for strategic purposes. Forget all the fluffy rainbows of friendship, this is serious business. Ideally, you want to bring a group with varied music tastes, because once you’ve claimed a spot you don’t want to leave it. You need someone to stay seated while you run off for food or bathroom breaks. Additionally, if you’ve got varied music tastes, you may have someone willing to guard your blanket while the rest of you run off to see the artists on the smaller stages—shout out Dean for saving our spot while the rest of us rushed to see Conan before Hozier came on!

3. Don’t arrive too late. Don’t get to a festival right before the headliners start. All the good seats will be taken at that point and you’ll be missing half the fun. One of the best parts of festivals is discovering new artists. I’d never heard of Flipturn before, but they’ve been on repeat during this drive back. However, there’s no need to arrive right when gates open, unless you really want to be as close as possible. If you’re alright with just a decent view, arrive about an hour or two into the concert. You won’t get stuck in long entrance lines, you’ll limit the amount of time in the sun, and you’ll still have a chance at a nice spot. It won’t be right up front, but it should have a good view of a screen and, hopefully, will have only a little…

4. Mud. There will be mud. This is inevitable. Doesn’t matter if it hasn’t rained in days. The mud will appear. You need to prepare accordingly. I know you want to wear that one outfit you’ve been planning for weeks. You still can! You just need to accept it will get muddy. Additionally, bring multiple blankets. You either want one that is thick and water-resistant enough to block the mud, or you want to layer a couple and accept that the bottom ones will be sacrificed. Unfortunately, we only had one thin little blanket and had to run to the merch stand for another. You do not want to pay merch prices for a blanket.

Above all, pace yourself. Music festivals can be 12 hours of standing and screaming while you avoid eating and drinking, either out of fear of losing your spot or fear of festival prices. After all the money and time you spent, you don’t want to faint before you can really enjoy yourself. I only went to one day of All Things Go and I feel like I need to sleep for a day. I can’t imagine doing that for multiple days in a row. 

***

Not every festival is going to be as insane as All Things Go—Conan? MUNA? Reneé? Hozier?—but that’s okay. If there’s a few artists you love, all you need is a willingness to jam out to those you don’t. It may also benefit you to have the capacity to stand and scream for hours on end or a stomach able to handle fries that are simultaneously stale and oily—but it’s mainly the attitude. With that, you’ll have an experience like no other. I may be sleep deprived and dehydrated, but I’m still buzzing. 

I need to go. We’re at the rest stop, and now it’s my turn to drive.

I hope someday we get to be two strangers screaming in the same crowd,

Elaina Bayard