The holiday season approaches! And with it, (at least for me) comes the stress of gift giving. Giving gifts to humans is hard, so why not put it off by thinking about what to gift your dog? Don’t have a dog? No worries! Feel free to use these gift ideas for a little brother or a friend with a sense of humor. 

*Note: no links for products have been provided—I’m not doing all of the work for you. 

1. Bed 

Specifically, yours. The bed should be a height suitable for your dog to clamber onto. If it isn’t, you should look into building a little ramp. See, dogs don’t like dog beds. Dogs like human beds because dogs like their humans and want to be where their humans are. If the human leaves the human bed and lies down on the dog bed, then the dog will like the dog bed. 

2. Food 

Yours, as well. Not dog food, and nothing too salty, too sweet, or containing chocolate. The sentiment is the same as above; dogs want whatever you’re eating. So maybe if you start eating dog food, your dog will do the same. If you’re not willing to go that far, share a bit of your food. As mentioned earlier, the table scraps you offer to your dog shouldn’t contain excess salt, excess sugar, or chocolate. Also, no grapes. 

3. Shoes 

Like the two gift ideas above, “shoes” here refers to human ones rather than dog ones. In my experience, dogs aren’t fond of having items strapped to their paws. While you may have good intentions buying doggy shoes, there’s a decent chance they’ll never be worn. Human shoes, however, would make a great gift—as a toy. The rubberiness and odor of a pair of running shoes are what conventional dog toys strive for but never fully replicate. The best part is this gift comes at no cost: dig out an old pair of sneakers and you’re good to go. 

4. Friend 

This might take the form of another dog, a cat, or an emotional support rat (I’m not making this up—the other day I saw a video of a dog who has an emotional support rat). There’s only so much companionship we as humans can provide to our dogs. So if your dog doesn’t already have another animal in the house, a furry/hairy/feathered friend may be the best gift you could give this holiday season—provided they’ve got a social temperament. 

5. Pats on the head 

Simple but effective. Your dog just wants a gentle pat on the head and a scratch behind the ears. This is also a good back-up option in case you forget to purchase a gift.