A diamond to Republican Senate candidate Mark Zaccaria, who said he found that Sen. Jack Reed was “inaccessible to his constituents” because he didn’t show up to clambakes and Greek festivals. We find people who don’t like free food inaccessible, too.
Coal to Vincent “Buddy” Cianci supporter Bob Troiano, who said he voted for the former Providence mayor to return to office because he was “dissatisfied with the level of corruption of city politicians.” Sorry, who did you vote for again.
Cubic zirconia to Nicole Pattek, a Rhode Island Comic Con attendee and competitive cosplayer, who said, “I’m here for the costume contest.” That’s how Rhode Island School of Design kids explain their outfits on a typical Tuesday.
Coal to Israeli journalist Ari Shavit, who said, “The students that I have met today at Brown and … at Yale were full of great values.” We would have given you a diamond if you hadn’t included the Yale students in that statement.
A diamond to the member of the rugby team who said, “I’d never tackled someone, actually hit someone, so that aspect was fun.” Tell the Cornell football team about your positive experience, so maybe they will try it sometime.
Cubic zirconia to Adam Leventhal ’01, who said, “Many students are not totally clear on what jobs computer science students get.” They wear hoodies to work and get paid to play video games. Do the details really matter?
Coal to Wendy Schiller, associate professor of political science and public policy, who said, “People get sick of the president.” Ouch, Christina, that’s gotta hurt.
Coal to the Brown Democrats executive board member who said, “We all have our fun horror stories.” This sounds eerily like something the man in the van says before offering you candy.
Coal to Michael Vorenberg, associate professor of history, who called his former student Caitlin Trujillo ’12 “particularly enthusiastic about all things Kansas.” We admire her ability to find passion in cornfields and white people.
Cubic zirconia to Stephen Nelson, associate professor of educational leadership at Bridgewater State University and senior scholar at the Leadership Alliance at Brown, who said, “It may be unfair, but at the end of the day, that’s the way it is in academia.” That’s what our college counselor said when we didn’t get into Harvard. It didn’t make the pain go away.
ADVERTISEMENT
