Coal to Chris Duffy ’09, who said, “Comedy is so binary — there are either laughs or no laughs, good or bad.” What about giggles, smirks, scoffs and hysterics? It’s definitely more of a spectrum.
Coal to former Providence police officer Elizabeth Comery, who said, “I’ve never gotten a call where two pot-heads were beating each other up.” You’ve obviously never seen two stoned people going after the last Hot Pocket.
A diamond to Brendan McStay, assistant manager of Brown EMS, who said of the benefits of hands-only CPR over mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, “You only have to remember to push hard and push fast.” Thanks for the advice — wait, what are we talking about again?
Cubic zirconia to Mary Carskadon, professor of psychiatry and human behavior, who spoke about the fundamental role of sleep and dared readers to “think of another behavior we all do every day.” We hope it’s reading The Herald.
A diamond to Gov. Lincoln Chafee ’75 P’14 P’17, who said of his time in the gubernatorial office, “I knew it was a hard job and I just wanted to give it a 100 percent, and I knew four years is a long time.” As undergrads, we can sympathize with that sentiment.
A diamond to Joy Fox, director of the transition for Gov-elect Gina Raimondo, who said of HealthSource R.I. “We want to keep this program but want to ensure that we find a way to pay for it that is affordable for everyone.” When you figure out that solution, come help us tackle tuition.
A diamond to Barbara Wong, executive director of Providence CityArts for Youth, who said the program aims to document artists’ emotional growth through exhibitions and evaluations “so more people can understand the value of what arts can do.” Do you think you would be able to explain that to our parents who seem to think we need to be economics concentrators in order to succeed in life?
Coal to the sophomore who asked, “As a busy college student, when do you actually have the time to touch yourself?” According to last fall’s Herald poll, 17 percent of undergrads find that time every day.
Coal to Elissa Jelalian, associate professor of psychiatry and human behavior and pediatrics, who said efforts to improve adolescents’ diets in Rhode Island have been successful, but efforts to improve their physical activity have been less so. You can switch our popcorn for carrots, but when it’s time for Netflix, you can’t get us off the couch.
A diamond to Jillian Brown, assistant coach of the field hockey team, who said a senior field hockey goalie “would be a warrior once she put on her helmet.” Where can we get that helmet? We’ll need it for Chicken Finger Friday.
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