A diamond to Moderate Party candidate for governor Robert Healey, who said of women, “I think they’re far more superior.” We’re sure Gina Raimondo would agree.
Cubic zirconia to Christine Hunsinger MPA’08, CEO of BGP Strategies, who said of Rhode Island, “Every time we make the top of a list, it’s a bad list. And every time there’s a good list, we’re at the bottom.” As students at one of the nation’s sexiest schools, we can’t relate.
Coal to the creators of Pokemon, whose idolization of the electric rodent Pikachu undoubtedly influenced the actions of the poor squirrel who crawled into a metal pipe in the Manchester Street Power Station, causing 4,500 power outages throughout the city Tuesday. RIP — we wish we could heal you at the Pokecenter.
A diamond to the senior on the field hockey team who said, “It was a long, hard push to get where we are today.” For you and for your mom.
Coal to Susan Smulyan, professor of American studies and director of the John Nicholas Brown Center for the Public Humanities and Cultural Heritage, who said, “I want to play the role of a salesman rather than a doorkeeper.” That didn’t turn out too well for Willy Loman.
A diamond to the sophomore who said he wrote a musical that explains philosophy terms that “go right over kids’ heads.” Can you write one for us about organic chemistry?
Coal to the first-year who said of social networking sites, “I’m more bored in a world of such shallow and constant communication compared to just being outside.” We’ll go outside when trees start holding up red flags to let us know they “like” us.
Coal to Assistant Volleyball Coach Scott Blanchard, who said of his team, “The word quit is not in their vocabulary.” Uh oh … might be time for the University to reevaluate its admission standards for athletes.
A diamond to the first-year representative for the Vietnamese Student Association, who said of the Class Coordinating Board’s culture fair, “About an hour or an hour and a half in, all the cultural organizations pretty much ran out of food, and we all just pretty much packed up and left.” If only this strategy would work at dinner with our significant other’s parents this weekend.
Cubic zirconia to “head pickleteer” Zared Goldfarb, founder and owner of Fox Point Pickling Company, who said of eating pickles, “I constantly want them. As soon as one jar’s done, we pop open another.” What’s your dill, man? Didn’t D.A.R.E. teach you not to feed an addiction?
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