Coal to Dean of the Faculty Kevin McLaughlin, who said his office is trying to “push down the age of the faculty.” That could make flirting with strangers in the Blue Room kind of awkward.
A diamond to Dan MacKinnon, founder of the Rhode Island Seafood Festival, who said, “It’s about music, art and food, which we view as art.” Are we sure he didn’t found Instagram?
A diamond to Stefano Bloch, postdoctoral fellow in urban studies, who said, “Fashion and style do in fact matter and have dire consequences for peace and justice.” We tell our parents that whenever they see the credit card bill.
Coal to the University for “neglect(ing) to provide an answer to one particular question” on a 550-question survey, as Vice President for Public Affairs and University Relations Marisa Quinn put it, causing Brown’s U.S. News and World Report ranking to fall. We should probably consider taking that survey S/NC next year.
Cubic zirconia to the senior who said of Eastside Marketplace: “It was the first supermarket I fell in love with in Providence.” We hesitate to think what that would look like in the bedroom.
Cubic zirconia to Ravi Pendse P’17, vice president for computing and information services and chief information officer, who said of Rosetta Stone, “I’ve never seen anything this hugely popular.” We just learned so much about the crowd he hung out with in high school.
A diamond to the junior who said he had been looking forward to going to now-closing Spats after he turned 21. Look on the bright side: You get all the nostalgia without the hangovers.
Cubic zirconia to Steve Lubar, professor of American studies, who said of some artifacts in the Lost Museum, “We don’t know what those things really were, we just have the names.” What’s in a name, anyway? Certainly nothing that could help you figure out what something is.
A diamond to Sarah Bordac, head of instructional design at the Rockefeller Library, who said the library’s staff is “charting how the building has been used consistently and also differently over the past 50 years.” We are glad someone is acknowledging the many uses of the stacks late at night.
Cubic zirconia to Ken Montville, who said “there’s something very cutting-edge” about PETA’s virtual reality simulation of a chicken headed for the slaughter. Which one? We hear there’s a lot of cutting edges in a slaughterhouse.
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