Coal to the proposed pilot program for Rhode Island adults to obtain college degrees by partnering with Charter Oak State College, a Connecticut public online college. Apparently, once Dean of the College Katherine Bergeron goes to Connecticut, the whole state follows.
A diamond to “Freeway” Rick Ross, who said of the value of libraries, “Nobody told me there was books in there that could help you get money.” If our future incomes are proportional to the amount of time we spend crying in the Sciences Library, we’re in luck.
A diamond to Paul Thacker, a fellow at Harvard, who said, “There’s a lot of egos and a lot of money at stake.” Sounds like our experiences at Ultra over spring break.
A diamond to the undergraduate who said, “The porn screening is going to be cool.” It would have been the perfect opportunity for the John Street masturbator to finally show his face on campus.
Cubic zirconia to the “El Grito del Bronx” actress who said, “When I put on the dress, I just said, ‘Wow.’” Don’t you know it’s “Say Yes to the Dress”?
Coal to the Spring Weekend “After Dark” organizer who said the event would aim to create a space where students didn’t have to “worry about cops.” Has anybody ever worried about cops on Brown’s campus?
Coal to the student who spent spring break in Germany with the Brown-in-Berlin program and said, “It was not spring break in Cancun.” Well put.
Cubic zirconia to the medical student who said of the residency program matching process, “It has been scary, even at Brown.” Every year, a first-year at SexPowerGod thinks the same thing.
A diamond to Don Fecher, who bought Mama Kim’s and will extend the food truck’s hours to 2 a.m. Mama Don’s just became our new favorite late-night drunchie spot.
Cubic zirconia to the student who said, “Wrestling is one of those sports where it’s a family thing.” Nothing says love like a chokehold.
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