A diamond to Katherine Gordon, managing director of the Technology Ventures Office, who said, “I kind of view the process as the planting seeds for the future.” That’s why we froze our eggs.
Coal to Michael Fine, director of the R.I. Department of Health, who said, “I’d love to see students agitating to make Brown a smoke-free campus.” Someone keep him away from the Rockefeller Library steps.
A diamond to Associate Professor of Chemistry Sarah Delaney, who said potatoes “are not all the same.” Way to stand up for the rights of America’s favorite root vegetable.
A diamond to Philip Tate, a senior lecturer at Boston University, who pointed out that there is a “difference between finding something that seems to work in mice and actually testing it on mice, and then actually testing it on people.” Remind us not to participate in his drug trials.
Coal to the student who said, “Working makes it easier to get schoolwork done because I don’t have free time to procrastinate.” Is that the kind of logic you employ in your schoolwork?
A diamond to the Faculty Executive Committee, which proposed adopting the title “professor of the practice.” Somehow, claiming we were “students of the practice” didn’t fly on our first midterms.
Coal to the students of CHEM 0080F: “Kitchen Chemistry” who burned their cookies. At least they didn’t let them play with real chemistry sets.
Cubic zirconia to the student who said, “I have a lot less time to be a student and a person.” Just like everybody in CHEM 0350: “Organic Chemistry.”
Cubic zirconia to the men’s hockey captain who said, “I’m not doing anything out of the norm.” That didn’t work out when we were caught sneaking a cookie out of the Blue Room yesterday.
Coal to First Baptist Church of America Historian J. Stanley Lemons, who said of Rhode Island School of Design and other students, “We let them display their artwork as long as it isn’t too risque.” So we’re guessing that means Scrotie won’t be making an appearance?
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