A diamond to men’s basketball head coach Mike Martin, who “thought the zone was a good change of pace, but our bread and butter is our man-to-man defense.” Coach, is butter a carb?
Cubic zirconia to Provost Mark Schlissel P’15, who said of the Sciences Library that it is unnecessary to “fill a 14-floor building with books.” We hope you fill the buildings at the University of Michigan with candy. Like a pinata.
A diamond to the student who said she likes to come home to “plantains frying.” Maybe the Office of Residential Life should start converting the Sharpe Refectory into rooms for students who were studying abroad last semester.
Cubic zirconia to the graduate student who said the ADEP molecule turns ClpP into a “garbage disposal run amok.” Now we know what to call the growing biohazard in Andrews Commons.
Coal to the professor who asked, “Wild and crazy stuff can be very appealing, but will it get us what we want?” Have you been to Spring Weekend?
A diamond to PW for putting on “Waiting for Godot” this weekend in the downspace. We can’t wait for Brown Divest Coal’s upcoming interpretation, “Waiting for the Corporation.”
Cubic zirconia to President Christina Paxson, who was spotted at the Flatbread Company Wednesday evening sipping wine and munching on pizza. Girl’s gotta eat (and drink).
A diamond to H. Adrian Smith ’30, whose collection of conjuring and magicana is on display at the Rockefeller Library until March. Based on his ID card flipping maneuvers, we nominate Jose at the Ratty as heir apparent.
Cubic zirconia to Rhode Island Attorney General Peter Kilmartin,who helped draft legislation designed to protect children online. Step one: deleting Justin Bieber’s Instagram.
Coal to the American Progressive Bag Alliance, which supports prolonging the use of the plastic bag through recycling measures. Do you ever feel like a plastic bag, drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?
A diamond to CVS Caremark for ceasing sales of tobacco products throughout the country. Members of the College Hill Independent revolt.
ADVERTISEMENT
