Coal to the Third World Center for discontinuing its Thanksgiving dinner, which one previous attendee said was “very homey, there (were) a lot of couches, and there was a lot of food, but it was very crowded.” This year, we’re taking Grandma Alice’s pumpkin pie to eat in the attic alone.
A diamond to the student who avoided a robbery by a Pakistani gang member by teaching him how to use her TI-89 calculator. What a calculated move — we always knew the skills we gained in Mathletes would last a lifetime.
Cubic zirconia to Hal Roth, professor of religious studies, who said of Brown’s employee benefits, “We’ve been pretty ignorant as to what our status is.” Maybe RothBot can help him figure out what he should say.
Coal to Cynthia Brokaw, professor and chair of the Department of History, who said there is a “perception that history isn’t practical” because “there is no obvious job that a person with a concentration in history does.” You mean full-time Abraham Lincoln impersonator doesn’t count?
A diamond to Professor of Physics Brad Marston who said of completing a thesis, “The award of honors is just icing on the cake.” Wait. If you write a thesis, you get cake? We like cake.
Coal to N. Gregory Mankiw P’17, professor of economics and department chair at Harvard, who, quoting Mark Twan, said, “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so,” in a lecture Wednesday. Just because we don’t go to Harvard doesn’t mean we don’t know anything.
A diamond to Jean Maire Burr, head coach of the women’s basketball team, who said, “I think this game is really going to make us hungry.” Yes, that is typically what calorie expenditure does to one’s body.
A diamond to Jagdish Sachdev, owner of Spectrum India, who noted that students have been purchasing less clothing recently. Don’t tell Fox News.
Coal to the MESH Art Show curator who said the different interpretations of artists who participated in the show shed light on how “obsessive practices cause us to develop feelings of passion, fixation, frustration.” Sounds like they should have included our epic poem about Pop-tarts.
At this weekend’s annual student-choreographed Fall Dance Concert, attendees can expect lots of diversity and energy in all the pieces. The show covers a vast range of styles, including tap, ballet, aerial, modern and traditional Indian dance. Performances are set to assorted musical selections — from Kanye West to classical — and incorporate costumes and props that aid the choreographers’ messages.
