A diamond to trustee Alison Cohen ’09, who said that every time there is a discussion about growing Brown’s student population, “people have said it’s already the perfect size.” We bet it doesn’t look fat in those jeans, either.
Coal to Tim Lear, director of college counseling at the Pingry School, who said, “Every hurdle we erect in front of teachers is unfortunate.” We had better faith in professors as track stars.
A diamond to Bridget Bourne, the Reiki Master Teacher who told students she once performed the Japanese healing practice on a faulty office printer to make it “only work for her.” She should have told those guys from Office Space.
Coal to DJ Alexander Oberg ’12.5, who said, “People saw DJing as something anyone could do.” Sure it is. As demonstrated by Spotify and Paris Hilton.
A diamond to football Head Coach Phil Estes, who said, “We shot ourselves in the foot too many times.” Yes, because once just wouldn’t have been enough.
Cubic zirconia to the student who expressed his longing for “the Keeney (Quadrangle) experience that everyone talks about where you can just wander and meet people.” We think you’re confusing Keeney with “singles bar.”
A diamond to the junior who founded Beat the Streets Providence, an organization developing wrestling programs in public middle schools. We’ve always loved the idea of a miniature fight club.
Cubic zirconia to Susan Bennett ’71, the voice of Siri, who said, “I didn’t realize people had such a close relationship with her.” That candle-lit dinner for two at Le Cirque wasn’t too much, was it?
Coal to Russell Carey, executive vice president for planning and policy, just because we think you’ll need it to heat J. Walter Wilson for the rest of the week.
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