A diamond to the team of University researchers who titled their article, “Speed dating, rejection, and finding the perfect mate: advice from flowering plants.” Normally we prefer to take romantic advice from people, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
Coal to President Christina Paxson for not using the term “university-college” in her strategic plan because “most people off campus have no clue what that term means.” That didn’t stop Gretchen Wieners from trying to make fetch happen.
A diamond to Dean of Admission Jim Miller ’73, who said of the downsized application supplement, “We didn’t want verbiage for the sake of verbiage.” Will someone please share this wisdom with that obnoxious kid in the back of our Shakespeare class?
Cubic zirconia to David Banush, associate University librarian for access services and collection management, for saying, “We find that things available electronically are more likely to be used.” Yeah, we haven’t used our rune tablets in weeks.
Cubic zirconia to the graduate student who said playing club soccer means “I get to make more friends. I get to make more Facebook friends.” Good luck getting poked.
A diamond to Provost Mark Schlissel P’15 for saying of President Obama’s proposed college ranking system that “the devil’s in the details.” That’s why we never look too closely at the things floating in our soup at the Sharpe Refectory.
Coal to the senior in Brown Standup Comics who said, “A lot of what we do every day is weird, but we don’t think about them usually.” Nonsense. We’re constantly strategizing the next excavation of our navels.
A diamond to the member of Critical Review who said, “We really screwed up. It was definitely our fault, and we won’t do it again.” This sounds like the makings of an emotionally mature version of a certain Shaggy song.
A diamond to the sophomore on the men’s golf team who said, “I think I gave a lot of shots away.” As long as you also provided salt and limes.
ADVERTISEMENT
