A diamond to Classic Cafe for its creative omelet names, like “Up yours chicken little” and “Kiss my hash.” It’s not often we find hangover food with names so appropriate to our day-after moods.
Coal to director Jeff Zimbalist ’00 who said that to balance his responsibilities as a director and editor he has to be “able to lock myself up as a hermit,” though he admitted the strategy is “very incompatible with life.” Preaching to the choir in the Sciences Library.
A diamond to the Paja Faudree, assistant professor of anthropology, who said, “Research on hallucinogens is now kosher.” If you need subjects, we might be able to help you find volunteers.
Coal to Peggy Chang, director of the Curricular Resource Center, who said that if students are interested in pursuing minors, as is possible at Harvard, “There should be a discussion.” Hasn’t she seen the t-shirts at the bookstore? Students only go to Harvard if they can’t get into Brown.
A diamond to the student who said, “I can’t remember the last time I … pre-registered for a class.” We find your spontaneous, devil-may-care attitude refreshing.
Cubic zirconia to the “Pirates of Penzance” actor who cited Gimli from “Lord of the Rings” as the inspiration for his character. As long as he’s not the inspiration for your table manners.
A diamond to Lecturer in Biology Richard Bungiro, who sang “Afternoon Delight” at an event to support Medical Equipment Donations International and said, “If you don’t think this is the best version of this song, I will fight you.” While he does that, we will fight images of our professors getting jiggy with it.
Coal to the student who said, “I don’t see Brown students as particularly sporty.” We aren’t terribly posh, so you just shot down our only chance at joining the Spice Girls.
A diamond the Rhode Island General Assembly for legislation that went into effect this week decriminalizing marijuana. The timing — less than two weeks before one of our favorite holidays — is beautifully convenient.
Coal to the Calcutt Middle School sixth grader who said he would not have been disappointed if he lost the Supernationals chess tournament — where he was competing against high schoolers — because it was his first time at a national tournament. Your lack of ambition is disappointing.
A diamond to postdoctoral researcher Maria Dimitriadi who screened worms looking for a “very exciting mutant.” We hope that, when the mutant was found, it was of the teenage turtle variety.
Coal to the Office of Residential Life for creating a “fake building” students could choose in the housing lottery. We can only assume that providing fake housing is an underhanded ploy to save money and that fake food in the Sharpe Refectory is next. Oh wait...
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