A diamond to the University for calling the first snow day since the early 2000’s. We’re totally going to spend it doing work.
A diamond to whoever used a replica of the Brown Concert Agency publicity chair’s email to send a fake Spring Weekend lineup to The Herald. We hope it helps you fund your new band, “The Postal Disservice.”
Coal to Kate Venturini, the urban agricultural specialist who said urban farming “just gets you to meet your neighbors.” We didn’t really appreciate the plant our sophomore hallmate left in our room. (Or did we?)
Coal to those responsible for the transition in shuttle contracts that will change SafeRide as we know it. Consider this our vote for bringing in the batmobile.
A diamond to Andy van Dam, professor of computer science and Pixar movie inspiration, who said “a smartphone was science fiction” when he was in college. Does this mean we’ll be BFFs with Megatron by 2043?
A cubic zirconia to the junior who said getting food from the Ratty’s allergen room can be a bonding experience, even though he never actually eats with the other students he meets. That’s exactly how we always imagined meeting our future spouses — exchanging furtive glances over quinoa-flour muffins.
Coal to the intrepid first-years who said, “We have sleds. That’s how we’re preparing” for Winter Storm Nemo. We know who we won’t be calling in the event of a zombie apocalypse.
Coal to Richard Bova, senior associate dean of residential and dining services, who said that by instituting lottery changes the University is “not just casting the sophomores to the wind.” ResLife may not be casting them to the wind, but it is banishing them to Perkins.
A cubic zirconia to the first-year Brown Pen Pals participant who said, “I say things I don’t even want to admit in my own head.” Please submit to the naughty notes section of our Valentine’s issue.
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