A diamond to the first-year who said of the brothers featured in "Sons of Providence," "They each had immense passion for what they were doing, even if it didn't follow social norms." That's what we told our parents after they watched our final performance for "TAPS1281Q: Introduction to Dance Studies: Sex, Death and Endurance." Too bad they didn't respect our passion.
Coal to the Rhode Island Public Expenditure Council, whose recommendations to reforming the Economic Development Council included renaming it the Rhode Island Commerce Corporation. That level of change sounds as revolutionary - and effective - as renaming the Sharpe Refectory's "Tastes of the World" station "Chef's Corner."
A diamond to new senior VP for advancement Patricia Watson, who said she likes to "try things and do things and experience things" in reference to a kayak she bought this summer. Maybe that's a risque activity up in Ithaca, but at Brown, we recommend she try heading over to Sex Power God.
A cubic zirconia to Digital Production Services photographer Lindsay Elgin, who said of setting up a photo shoot in the John Hay Library, "Climbing up on tables is not something I do every day." Well, then. You've shattered all of our fantasies about what goes on in the dark recesses of the school's libraries.
A diamond to the Brown Divest Coal Campaign, which is requesting the University divest from certain coal companies - even though no records suggest the University is actually investing in any of them. We thought about giving you coal, but we wouldn't want to give you a reason to protest our investments.
Coal to Jill Harris, managing director of strategic initiatives at the Drug Policy Alliance, who said, "Everybody in this country takes drugs. My friends put their dog on Prozac." We've heard dogs prefer Zoloft.
A cubic zirconia laden with pity for Professor of Religious Studies Harold Roth, a member of the Faculty Executive Committee who said the group is looking for ways to incentivize participation in faculty governance. We suggest free Nice Slice pizza and the chance to write hilarious jokes once a week. It works for us.
Coal to Koji Masutani '05, the media producer of the Armageddon Letters, a series of short films, graphics novels and podcasts, some of which will connect to Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber so that "the kid skateboarding on Thayer can understand." As rampant Beliebers, The Herald takes offense at the gross oversimplification of his music.
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