Coal to the Tufts University student who said of her experience studying abroad in Jordan, "We totally lived in a brothel." Maybe that's shocking at her posh school, but here "brothel" ranks several seeds above Chapin House in the housing lottery.
Cubic zirconia to the Hope High School students who organized a campaign to replace their cafeteria's pizza, macaroni and cheeseburgers with salad. Replace? As connoisseurs of the menu at Josiah's, we would call those essential salad ingredients.
Coal to the University for the money it spent buying up the domains BrownU.xxx and BrownUniv.xxx. It's too late — Brown students, in their spirit of openness and magnanimity, are already showcasing their private parts on BrownBares for free. Maybe the University should address the naked dudes chilling in Faunce House before taking other precautions.
Green coal to President Obama for shifting his rhetoric from talking about "climate change" to discussing "clean energy." We'd ask you to use this resource to fight global warming, but we wouldn't want to hurt your chances of winning swing votes.
A diamond to Steve Lubar, professor of American civilization and history, who said he looks forward to the day when he can invite students to the Haffenreffer Museum of Anthropology by saying, "Come and play with this stuff." Valentine's Day is coming up — but he has to buy us dinner first.
Cubic zirconia to Sheri Griffin, program director at Farm Fresh Rhode Island who works with Dining Services on the Brown Farmer's Market, for saying it was unlikely that the Wriston Quadrangle Market would start selling alcohol. We hope organizers realize that market is already thoroughly saturated.
A whole lot of diamonds to the Corporation, the University's highest governing body, which convenes on campus this weekend. How many do we have to give you for a promise not to raise our tuition?
A diamond to the Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority for potentially limiting student travel between Boston and Providence on weekends. Any way we can keep Harvard students out of Brown — no Whiskey Republic for them.
