A diamond to GISP 0001: "Underwater Archaeology," which attracts a lot of members of ARRR!!!, the University's pirate a cappella group. This is not to be confused with the GISP entitled "Unarmed Shipping Vessels," which attracts a lot of Somali pirates.
A diamond to Laura Colella GS, whose play "Liquorland" debuts tonight at a free playwriting festival. Coincidentally, Liquorland is the name of The Herald's patented new board game. Look for it in hipster coffee shops near you.
Coal to ambitious Rep. Frank Ferri, D-Warwick, who said of making higher education in Rhode Island more affordable, "We needed to hear from everybody in the state." Everybody? Maybe he's hoping by the time he's done listening, Providence's budget problems will have solved themselves.
A diamond to Erik Ehn, head of the graduate playwriting program, who said he "would love to see Brown become a puppet powerhouse." With the Perry and Marty Granoff Center for the Creative Arts completed, we see an opening for Building Brown's next project: the Ruth Simmons Puppet Palace.
Cubic zirconia to Visiting Assistant Professor of History Derek Seidman AM'05 PhD'10, who asked, "What's a liberal arts education for if not for trying to tackle the burning issues of your day?" That explains Modern Culture and Media's new firefighting concentration requirement.
A moonstone to Judy Bentkover, an instructor of PHP1680J: "The Race to Inner Space: Conflating Science, Politics and Economics to Promote Brain Health," the public health seminar co-taught by former Congressman Patrick Kennedy, for saying her students will "identify the future of brain research" and "create useful, usable documents to find a cure for brain disease." They will also be advising Newt Gingrich on his plans to establish a colony on the moon.
Coal to Undergraduate Council of Students President Ralanda "Optimus Prime" Nelson '12, for revealing her identity as head of the Autobots when she said, "Now I have ownership over the success of the entire machine." We didn't realize UCS was actually made up of robots in disguise.
Coal to the Association of American Medical Colleges for increasing the length of the Medical College Admission Test from five and a half to seven hours. If everyone were forced to take two semesters of organic chemistry, they would agree that pre-meds have enough to deal with as it is.
A diamond to the University staff who were honored at yesterday's Brown Employee Appreciation and Recognition Day celebrations. Thank you for making our lives better. Also, to the custodian who was celebrated for bringing homemade pastries to work, where's your office?
