Coal to Harvard for restricting access to Occupy Harvard's encampment to Harvard ID-holders and making the Cambridge, Mass., contingent "the most exclusive Occupation in the country." You are the 99 percent — of people who know exactly how to ruin a grassroots movement.
A diamond to Occupier Michael McCarthy, who said of people taking advantage of the Occupation's free food, "People were going to show up expecting it, and they were either going to get violent or crawl into a tent." Critics of The Herald are also prone to impulsive camping sprees.
A cubic zirconium to Joe Goldberg '12 for trusting his bunny enough to "chill out in the room." We love the trust. We're sorry it "pooped all over."
Coal to the second man arrested for public masturbation this week, making the number of people taken into custody for indecent exposure higher than that of humanities representatives on the Presidential Selection Campus Advisory Committee. If the masturbator had studied English, we see an easy solution to both problems.
A diamond to the University for finally getting rid of the Card Value Center machines. But with a functioning card system, what excuse will we have for not doing our laundry?
A diamond to the men's soccer team for coming back from a two-goal deficit in the first round of the NCAA tournament. Who needs those 32 percent of recruited varsity athletes that quit their teams anyway?
Coal to Esther Choo, assistant professor of emergency medicine at the Alpert Medical School, who found that youth marijuana use has been steadily decreasing since the state medical marijuana bill passed in 2006. Unfortunately, she forgot about the founding of Anna Jones' '12 and Sarah Marion's '12.5 secret bakery.
A diamond to Gail, who said she's "getting the college education (she) never had through the students" at Brown. We have nothing snarky to say — you're just the cutest.
