A diamond to the Reserve Officers' Training Corps. At this point, students are so tired of the debate over whether to end the ban on ROTC that they'll allow it back on campus just so everyone will stop talking about it. Congratulations on successfully waging a war of attrition.
A diamond to the administrators at University Hall, who have established or are planning online professional master's programs, an off-shore MBA program and increased corporate funding of research. If we promise you more diamonds, will you promise to focus on teaching undergraduates again?
Cubic zirconia to Mayor Angel Taveras, who proposed closing four Providence elementary schools in response to the city's budget crunch, and to the Athletics Review Committee, which proposed cutting four varsity teams in response to the athletics department's budget crunch. There's a win-win solution here somewhere, and we're pretty sure it involves wrestling and sword-fighting with schoolchildren.
Two diamonds to Alice: one for each of your diamond earrings. They sparkle almost as much as the newsroom after you've come through it.
A diamond to Officer Chuck, for keeping our bodies safe from hoodlums and our stomachs safe from hunger.
Coal to the muggers who began their robbery of three Herald editors early yesterday morning by asking for directions to the now-defunct Fish Company. Armed robbery is one thing, but abusing the memory of Fish Co. will not stand.
And a diamond to the Providence Police Department and Department of Public Safety officers who detained said muggers within 20 minutes. We bet you can catch the naked donut runners in 10.
121 words to big bird. That's wassadeal.
And a final diamond to our readers. Without you, we'd just be ranting, self-righteous college students. OK, even with you, we're ranting, self-righteous college students. But you give us an excuse. See you in September.
