Students, University administrators and members of the Brown/RISD Hillel community stood huddled outside in the cool November breeze Friday to honor the memory of Avi Schaefer '13.
Stories were shared and traditional Jewish songs were sung while the group witnessed the dedication of a birch tree planted in Schaefer's honor in the courtyard outside Hillel.
The group was there to join Schaefer's family — his parents, Rabbi Arthur Gross-Schaefer and Laurie Gross-Schaefer, along with his three brothers — in honoring the memory of the 21-year-old freshman who was killed last February when he was hit by a drunk driver.
The tree was chosen for the "living memorial" specifically because it sheds and automatically replaces old layers of its bark, University Chaplain Janet Cooper Nelson told the crowd.
"This makes the tree beautiful in the winter and beautiful in the summer," Cooper Nelson said. "I hope that this tree will, in a sense, protect us."
Nine months after Schaefer's death, emotions still clearly run high — some members of the crowd hugged one another closely during the dedication. But the memorial ceremony was more about celebrating a life than mourning a death.
‘Few people are mourned'
Prior to the tree dedication, the ceremony began at 11 a.m. at the chapel in Hillel. Cooper Nelson was the first of seven speakers who addressed the crowd.
"Dear family of Brown, this is how we were never supposed to meet," Cooper Nelson said at the beginning of the ceremony.
Cooper Nelson talked about Schaefer's unquenchable curiosity and ability to inspire those around him.
"This day is about the stitching that Avi began even before coming to Brown. His work is growing still even as we mourn his loss and try to find things about ourselves that we never knew," she said.
Referring to the tree standing outside in the courtyard, Cooper Nelson said it is a physical manifestation of Schaefer's influence on campus.
"This organism sitting behind you that keeps rippling out of this place is his as well," she said.
Rabbi Mordechai Rackover, associate University chaplain for the Jewish community, followed Cooper Nelson and addressed the full chapel.
Rackover said he had never given a eulogy in Schaefer's memory. He said that since a eulogy's main purpose is "to make people cry," he wanted to do something different.
Instead of eulogizing Schaefer, Rackover focused on the qualities that made Schaefer a potent influence on Brown's campus — even if he was on College Hill for a relatively short period of time.
"Everyone dies, but few people are mourned," he said.
After recalling a moment when Schaefer helped him set up a television in his office, Rackover said the student always had a smile on his face and a great capacity for kindness.
Despite not having given a eulogy, Rackover said, he did take something from the funeral service last winter that he knew would make the tree dedication even more meaningful.
"In my jacket pocket is a bottle from the cemetery full of earth," Rackover said, telling the crowd he would place the soil around the tree. "I've been thinking about this since that day."
Rackover said the tree planted in Schaefer's memory is an embodiment of his soul.
"Humans are like trees — we are growing, we have roots," Rackover said.
A strong community
Leor Shtull-Leber '12, president of Brown/RISD Hillel's student executive board and Herald assistant design editor, spoke following Rackover.
Shtull-Leber said it was shocking that Schaefer had only been at Brown for such a short time. Though he was here for less than a year, he had tremendous impact, she said.
For Shtull-Leber, Schaefer's death was a moment of sadness that brought people together, and strengthened communal ties among students.
"I don't think I have ever experienced the power of the Jewish community until last February at Brown," she said.
Shtull-Leber said that while new friendships were made in the wake of Schaefer's death, those people would still have met had he been alive.
"We would have become friends anyway because Avi brought people together," she said.
Concluding her speech, Shtull-Leber urged the people in the room to introduce themselves to "someone new."
"Tell people in your life that you care about them. Tell them you love them," Shtull-Leber said. "Tell them today and tomorrow — be there for Avi and especially for one another."
President Ruth Simmons spoke after Shtull-Leber left the stage. Simmons said it was impressive how quickly Schaefer's "verdant ideas" emerged in classrooms, deans' offices and meetings of student organizations around campus.
Simmons said that at the time of his death, Schaefer's "name and voice and friendships were still taking off," adding that "his was and remains a living vision."
Of the tree, Simmons said, "This living memorial will grow and shelter generations of Brunonians."
Broadening views
Following Simmons, three professors took turns to discuss how Schaefer had opened their eyes while he was at Brown.
For Professor of Judaic Studies David Jacobson, Schaefer offered a glimmer of hope that ideals he had always believed in still survived.
Jacobson talked about his struggle through the years to open dialogue between the two opposing sides in the conflict between Israelis and Palestinians. Last fall, Jacobson saw Schaefer's opinion column in The Herald, titled "To those interested in creating peace in the Middle East."
"He was unlike other first-year students. In two months, he had already declared an intention of concentrating in international relations and Middle Eastern studies," Jacobson said.
Jacobson began working with Schaefer and Palestinian student Sami Jarbawi '12 to help create forums on campus to discuss Middle Eastern conflict and the prospect of peace in the region. This spring, the results of their work will be seen on campus in the form of Jacobson's new course JUDS 0980W: "The Israeli-Palestinian Conflict: Contested Narratives" and a conference called "Israelis and Palestinians: Working Together for a Better Future." The conference will bring in Israeli and Palestinian speakers and will take place March 13–14.
Jacobson said none of this would have been possible without Schaefer's influence.
According to Michael Satlow, professor of religious studies and Judaic studies, Schaefer was unique in his ambitions.
"Never before had I had a student, graduate or undergraduate, who thought he could solve Middle East peace," he said, eliciting laughter from an audience familiar with Schaefer's high goals.
"He was no naif," Satlow said. "He transformed this experience into hope and hope into vision."
Satlow was followed by Maud Mandel, associate professor of Judaic studies and history. Mandel said what most struck her about Schaefer's philosophy was his belief that two people of opposing views can cooperate when they know "each other's stories."
As a scholar who has observed the frictions between groups of people who she said "often know very much about one another's stories," Mandel said she wishes she could sit down and talk with Schaefer about his views.
"Avi was a talker and a commentator," she said. "He engaged friends and family and professors."
Forever a part of Brown
Outside, the tree dedication was a mixture of celebration and painful remembrance. Friends and strangers approached the Gross-Schaefer family with warm embraces, and the group gathered to hear a few more parting words from Cooper Nelson and Rackover before heading into a special Hillel luncheon.
During the dedication, the group sang traditional Jewish songs, including Psalm 121, "Shalom Rav: The final blessing of the silent meditation" and "Oseh Shalom." Each v
oice melded into the other, as the cool breeze lightly blew the young tree's branches.
In reference to Jewish funeral tradition, members of the group were urged to leave something at the birch tree and take something back with them. Cooper Nelson said the shedding bark provided the perfect opportunity for the group to take something honoring Schaefer back with them.
After Cooper Nelson and Rackover concluded their remarks, Schaefer's father spoke to the crowd.
Looking into the faces of his son's friends, family and professors, Gross-Schaefer talked about how special the Brown community is to him.
"When Avi came to Brown, I didn't know that Brown was this," he said while standing in front of the tree planted in honor of his son.
