Coal to men at Brown, only 11 percent of whom told us they are gay. Our bitter heterosexual female staffers tell us that number must be higher.
Coal to UCS for looking into a program that gives updates on which dorm laundry machines are available. Soon, we won't have any more excuses to walk around our dorms without pants.
A diamond to former Herald editor and Keith Olbermann ball-buster Simmi Aujla '09. This does not violate Herald employee donation policy. We swear.
Coal to the sociology professor who encouraged the art of "doing it once… just to try it." We are nearly sure that Brown students need no encouragement.
A diamond to the English department for changing the name of its concentration from "Literatures and Cultures in English" to just plain English. That will look so much better on the diploma you hang on your cardboard box's wall.
A diamond to Health Services' after-hours nursing hotline. Finally, we can talk to nurses late at night without charging it to our parents' credit cards.
A virtual diamond to the biology professor who said social networking is sometimes the most personal connection he has with students. Now perhaps you understand why we're always on Facebook during lecture.
Another social media #Diamond to @Prof. Tricia Rose MA'87 PhD'93, who has amassed nearly 1,500 followers on Twitter. Just 1.6 million more, and you'll almost be as popular as colleague @Wyclef.
A diamond to Sex Power God, whose new location has fewer places to "sneak off and do things." We wouldn't want Bill O'Reilly to miss anything.
Diamond to the libraries union for signing a contract through September 2014. But coal to libraries in 2014, which will have more union employees than books.
Diamond to Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse, D-R.I., for telling a RISD student that he could fight climate change with art. Who says the Democrats don't know how to sell their message?
"Diamonds and Coal" is written by The Herald's staff. Submit your own at diamondsandcoal.com.
