Coal to Trojan Condoms for only awarding Brown a 3.50 GPA on sexual health. Silly Trojan, don't you know we only give out A's?
A diamond to Professor David Mumford for receiving the highest scientific honor in the country. He loves math because "you don't have to get Ferdinand and Isabella to give you a boat to sail across the ocean." Good — we hear that doesn't get you a holiday anymore.
A good-luck diamond to student-parents. Here's hoping professors continue to buy my-kid-threw-up-on-my-homework as a viable excuse. But hey, where are you going for Family Weekend?
A diamond to night football games maybe becoming a tradition. Here's hoping kicking Harvard's ass every year becomes a tradition, too.
Coal to independent candidate for mayor Jon Scott who "worked with gangbangers for years in the inner city." Though that does sound salacious, it also seems like the kind of thing you would want to hide when running for public office.
A sympathetic diamond to the library contract negotiators who said they "just wanted to get through those two issues and put them to bed." We know how you feel — and we only have to put out one issue a night.
Coal to the possibly record number of yellow cards handed out in Saturday's soccer game against Harvard. If the Facebook movie taught us anything, it's that everyone at Harvard's a gentleman — or so we thought.
Speaking of fouls, a good-sports diamond to the College Hill 'Dependent for putting up your best shot at last weekend's kickball game. With an 8-3, Herald, all-time record, you can take that diamond to the bank — or to the Undergraduate Finance Board.
Diamonds and Coal is written by The Herald's staff. Submit your own at diamondsandcoal.com.
