Diamonds and Coal. An institution of The Herald. At the end of every week, we gather our staff, scour through the paper and pull out our best tricks. We try to make you laugh, we work to make you smile and we attempt not to be too inappropriate.
Diamond to John Jenks 1838, the R.I. Hall curator who collapsed dead on the hall's steps in 1894. You proved long before Spring Weekend that it was OK to black out on the Main Green.
Coal to a foam-covered, Cancun-tanned, Gala-dancing Class Board. It's been quite a wild ride. We hear there's an open spot on the board of Goldman Sachs, if you're looking for greater leadership opportunities.
Diamond to the 30,000-plus high school seniors who want to be among our ranks. Don't be fooled by Snoop's jersey, though — he will not be a part of the illustrious class of 2014. Though we enjoyed speculating as to your interest in the school, it never struck us that not enough "weed every day" would be an excuse not to enroll.
Diamond to all the new buildings rising on and around campus. From Med Ed to the new athletics and aquatics center to the creative arts building — things are looking better and bigger. Like we felt about female orgasms, we're excited about them coming.
Coal to recurring mayoral candidate Chris Young. We would have thought about giving you a diamond for keeping our coverage entertaining, but we're unsure when you'll be allowed back on campus to pick it up.
Diamond to the end of the semester. Any mistakes in today's paper will not be corrected for months. "Balls," said Prez. Ruth Simons.
Two diamonds each to: Chuck, for all the donuts . . . Alice, for putting up with us messy college kids . . . Claire, Katie and all of B-Staff, for the cash and extra pages . . . Mom, for checking our Web site . . . Hippomanic, for misspelling your name all semester . . . Ricoh, for surviving . . . post-, for fattening us up on Thursdays . . . our wonderful writers, photographers, designers, copy editors, artists and Web people — and you, dear reader. See you in September!
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