Coal to faulty plumbing for abruptly closing our favorite Pembroke eatery. Rest assured, The Herald will not rest until Gategate is uncovered.
A diamond to students applying for unpaid internships. Trust us — you'll need it.
Coal to Pauly D for staying out of Providence till May. Good luck on making your Commencement keynote more stimulating than Fareed Zakaria's.
Diamond to the new solar trash compactor at the Ratty for squeezing everything together. Maybe now we can fit through the newly slimmed-down Faunce Arch.
Diamond to Rebecca Maxfield '13, who qualified to be a contestant on the College Championship of "Jeopardy!" — not for competing, but for putting up with that smug, moustache-less Canuck, Alex Trebek.
Coal to penny-pinching administrators for cutting $14 million from next year's budget. You can get rid of all the varsity sports you want, but for heaven's sake, give us our Gate back!
Diamond to vodka. Diamond to whiskey. Coal to hangovers. And diamonds to the brave souls who volunteered to get blitzed on vodka and whiskey in the name of science for Professor of Community Health Damaris Rohsenow.
Coal to the bursar for no longer sending our parents statements in the mail. While we appreciate your environmentalism, there's a good chance we won't be reenrolled in the fall.
Coal to the group of apathetic students or whoever for protesting protests or something. Whatever.
Diamond to Brown for being the most H1N1-vaccinated university in Rhode Island. We may be known as laid-back hipsters, but in this case, we took the advice of Health Services Director Edward Wheeler. We didn't "get casual." We got vaccinated.
Diamonds and coal are now do-it-yourself! Visit diamondsandcoal.com for cheers and jeers of your own.
