A diamond to the hardy souls at both sides of the negotiating table who will be working all the way through the long weekend haggling over a new contract for Brown Dining Services workers, and to the various students who have gotten worked up over the process. We're looking forward to the warring factions, charges of paternalism and cries of exploitation. And you thought we weren't going to celebrate Columbus Day.
Coal to the local "innovation council" for its plan to award $100,000 in grants to stimulate the "knowledge-based economy" in Providence. Thanks, guys, but when it comes to the economic outlook in Providence, ignorance is bliss.
A diamond to the big thinkers who conceived of building a multimillion-dollar streetcar system to connect College Hill to downtown. It's retro, environmentally friendly, deceptively pricey and will frequently be found on the RISD campus. Give it an ironic paint job, fixed gears and an ashtray and you'll have your first million hipster riders in a week.
Coal to the faculty, which shrank this year for the first time since 2003. (Our bio professor can't see over the lectern anymore.)
A diamond to the fact that Brown ships off 200 gallons of used frying oil each week from the VDub to be converted to biodiesel. We'll sleep easy knowing that people somewhere in California are commuting to work on buses that run on Cuban Stir Fry.
Coal to the International Scholars Program, which offered twice as many grants for its second summer, only to find declining interest from students. As anyone who has been to a Buxton party knows, Brown's internationally minded students prefer that you play hard to get. (Preferably while smoking aloofly with your friends Didier and Sven outside Viva on a Thursday night.)
A diamond to the professor teaching 261 enrolled students in a room with 140 seats, who noted that his students are more involved and engaged. Very true — it's hard to fall asleep at your laptop when there's an 86 percent chance someone is sitting on your lap.
A diamond to the Brown football team, which brought home the Governor's Cup by beating in-state rival URI last weekend. But unless you want to see the University taxed off College Hill, you better bring us the governor's veto pen, too.
Finally, a cubic zirconium to the administration for coming up with the idea to pinch pennies by combining a new gym and a new pool into one building. We like your creativity, but why stop there? We'd like to introduce you to our brainchild: The MindBrainBehavior Pool-Gym and Campus Center for the Creative Arts, complete with luxury suites, could be grafted onto the side of Grad Center by early 2011.
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