A good, true hangover doesn't just go away. It's savored, appreciated, understood as part of the natural cycle of drinking. It can, however, be ameliorated by a good meal, one that, ideally, prepares you for more drinking -- a veritable return to the bottle. Eggs are requisite. Bagels are appreciated. Potatoes, if available, are essential. Despite the obvious health benefits and any science that might corrupt our expertise, fresh fruit is to be avoided: not only will the acid most likely upset your tummy, but you'll also be missing the point -- the purpose of the hangover is not merely to wallow in your own fluids, but to hammer down, with the mighty force of spongy carbs and lubricant fat, what you did the night before. It's akin to surrendering a grand slam when you're already down by six runs in the ninth inning.
As mentioned last week, George's on Ives is king — although don't ask for extra potatoes as they'll simply cut your order in half. If it's nice out you'll find no nicer walk, and nothing can be better for your elitist Brown sensibilities than the odd combination of East Providence and exploded hipster that graces its vestibule. If you're on the run and want to burn the f*ck out of your mouth, Bagel Gourmet and their overfilled volcanic coffees are an obvious choice, though there is no more frustrating line in which to wait in all of Providence.
If you still happen to be drunk we highly recommend a visit to the Ratty, where you can laugh at people laughing at you for looking like you lost a pan fight last night. For a properly-priced meal at a nice distance, there's Brickway on Wickenden, which has the double benefit of a rudely brisk host and decent food, with Campus Wines and Madeira Liquors on the way back to campus for mid-morning Coronas. Any good Brown physics-philosophy double concentrator will tell you that Spring Weekend time is distorted: anywhere that includes a nice adventure will add pleasure to your day while allowing you to return to campus no more than fifteen minutes after you left, so don't fear the walk for brunch.
