As the new semester kicks into high gear, many students have trouble balancing classes, sports, extracurriculars and that weekly shift at the Gate they work to finance their coffee habits. But for a few Brown undergraduates, there's an additional element to add to this balancing act: their marriages.
The University doesn't keep statistics on the number of married undergraduate students, nor does it provide any specific services for them - the only mention of married students on the University's Web site is their exemption from on-campus living requirements. Brown students who choose to get married before getting their degrees are largely on their own.
According to Alicia Adams '11, who married her high school boyfriend Brian in July, the hardest part of getting married was figuring out her living arrangement. Since her husband is not a Brown student, they were forced to rent an off-campus apartment. "It's really expensive," she said, adding that her rent was almost $1,100 a month. "My loans have definitely gone up," she added.
Lanna Leite, who enrolled as a member of the class of 2010 but is currently taking a year off, got married over winter break of her freshman year. She works odd jobs and waits tables to support herself and her husband Cassius.
Leite's husband is from Brazil, and they had to wait six months after they got married before he could join her in the U.S. She continued to live in Keeney Quandrangle the spring following their marriage, but she has since moved off campus. She also cited housing as the largest obstacle facing married students. Leite said it was difficult to find an apartment near campus, because "no one that was close by would rent to us."
Even many landlords listed on Brown's auxiliary housing Web site refused to rent to Leite, she said. She eventually found an apartment on Wickenden Street, but moved to the South Side because "rent was really really high" at her first apartment. "All the affordable places said no!"
"I didn't have a steady job, we weren't 21, he wasn't here," she said. "I was doing it all on my own."
That's because, in addition to her classes and housing search, she had another marriage-related issue to tackle - immigration. Leite lived in Brazil for two years, and she met Cassius there. Since he is not a U.S. citizen, Leite had to put together a giant scrapbook full of evidence proving their marriage was not a hoax.
"I did all the immigration work during finals," she said. "If you want to go down this path, you face a lot more obstacles than most students."
Another complication is financial aid. Adams said though Brown asked for her husband's income information in addition to her parents', it didn't affect her aid package because he is also a student.
"I don't think it's fair that they still need your parents' info, even if they're no longer supporting you," Leite said. "Once I got married, my mom stopped supporting me financially."
Despite the difficulties, both Leite and Adams said they are more than happy with their decision to get married. Adams said that when she had serious medical problems during high school, "Brian ended up taking care of me, skipping school so that my mom could go to work." This went on for a few years, she said, and "he became a part of my entire family, and we all just loved him so much that there wasn't any other option for me."
Still, staying socially connected to Brown has been a challenge for Adams, who went by her maiden name, Amy Conover, when she first came to Brown. "I'm either in class or at my apartment," she said, adding that her husband helps her maintain a balance in her life.
"He does the dishes and cooking and most of that stuff to allow me to focus on school," she said.
Leite said she and her husband "were just in love and wanted to be together." Though it was different socially to be married, she said she didn't mind it.
"I didn't miss out because I never wanted to be part of the sorority, party-on-the-weekend culture."
Both Leite and Adams experienced a variety of responses to the news about their marital statuses, from judgmental and negative to happy and supportive.
"The weirdest reactions are from people I don't know - like when I open my computer and have wedding pictures on there, or when I'm talking to a professor or something," said Adams, who was engaged when she came to Brown as a freshman. Many of the people in her freshman unit didn't believe her when she introduced Brian as her fiancee, she said.
Leite had similar experiences. "There have been great responses, but there have been more incredulous 'what?' responses," she said. Though many people reacted negatively to the news, her freshman roommate was supportive. She even helped Leite shop for a wedding dress.
"There are very very few married undergrads in any given year," Associate Dean of Student Life Carla Hansen wrote in an e-mail to The Herald. "What our office does is just what it does for students in any anomalous situation: listen to the student's needs, and make connections and referrals, and, if need be plead the student's case with other administrators."
Leite said though "Dean Hansen was wonderful" in assisting her and was supportive about her decision to get married, it has still been a major lifestyle change.
"If I'm a full-time Brown student and single, I have resources. I have a dorm, I have meals. But if I choose to get married, then I don't," Leite said. "It was my decision, but I had to separate myself from Brown."
