Renowned sex therapist and radio personality Dr. Ruth Westheimer delivered a lecture, "Sexually Speaking: An Evening with Dr. Ruth," to a packed Salomon 101 last night. Sponsored by the Office of Student Life, the Dean of the College and Health Education, the talk was held in honor of Deputy Dean of the College Stephen Lassonde.
The evening began with an introduction from Miles Hovis '08, representing the Office of the Dean of the College, and soon after, the floor was turned over to Lassonde, the "man of honor," according to Hovis. Lassonde credited his friendship with Westheimer for bringing her to the University.
Heralded by Lassonde as "one of the world's authorities on sexuality for the last 25 years," Westheimer took the stage to thunderous applause, subsiding into laughter as she climbed onto a wooden box behind the podium, elevating her 4-foot-7-inch form to the level of the microphone.
Westheimer thanked the audience for their attendance then laid out the format for the evening, announcing that she wanted to "put some issues on the table" and conclude with a question-and-answer session with the group.
Westheimer praised modern sexual attitudes, saying that Americans have come a long way since the Victorian era, when mothers would instruct their daughters to "lie back and think of England" on their wedding nights. In other words, she said, "don't expect the world to shake, don't expect the stars to twinkle, don't expect orgasms."
Despite the admirably frank and unabashed vocabulary used by Westheimer - she did not blush or bat an eye when discussing topics such as oral and anal sex, masturbation and the mechanics of an orgasm - she declared herself to be "old-fashioned and a square," believing that "sex is and ought to remain a private matter."
Though Westheimer is often credited as a sexual pioneer, bringing issues of physical intimacy into the public forum through her radio show "Sexually Speaking" and later her publication of 31 books on sex, relationships and family, she is in many ways a traditionalist.
When asked during the question-and-answer session about her feelings on the influence of alcohol on sexual consent, Westheimer explained that "something that has to be part of the sexual encounter is a relationship ... (in order to) have really pleasurable good sex." According to Westheimer, sex outside the context of a relationship is to be avoided, regardless of consent. She accepted, however, that this belief is not shared among most college-aged people and her lecture did nothing to condemn those who are more promiscuous, saying that "anything two consenting adults want to do ... is perfectly okay."
Westheimer emphasized repeatedly the importance of humor with regards to sex. She declared that while sex is a serious issue, as a sex therapist she has to be able to find humor in sex in order to help people overcome self-consciousness. Acknowledging that sex is funny and yields humorous situations enables people to truly relax and "allow themselves to experience sex," she said. She returned to the importance of personal comfort and relaxation when discussing orgasms, saying that for women in particular, "people must allow themselves to have orgasms ... to make the experience the most enjoyable, but not to put pressure (on themselves or their partners)."
The lecture's consistent theme mirrored Westheimer's goal throughout her career as a psychosexual therapist: the attainment of "sexual literacy." Westheimer's primary aim, which is fitting after spending the early years of her career working for Planned Parenthood, is the continued reduction of the rate of unwanted pregnancies.
Westheimer cautiously approached the realm of "controversial issues," explaining that her experiences growing up Jewish in Nazi Germany taught her that "you have to stand up and be counted for what you believe in." She also declared that "in my way of thinking, abortion must remain legal ... it has to be taken away from the political arena and it has to be a public health discussion," and her subsequent remarks were drowned in applause and cheers from the audience. She then explained that she does not "engage in debates because they do not accomplish anything." Rather she encourages discussion and listening to issues.
She encouraged people who held more conservative sexual and political ideas to maintain them but to remain informed, saying, "These are your values, these are your beliefs. You stick to those. That doesn't mean you shouldn't sit here and be sexually literate."
Westheimer concluded the evening's remarks by reminding students not to let sex become "routine and boring," urging people instead to communicate their sexual desires to their significant others.
"I saw, in walking on your campus, plenty of private places ... don't have sex in them! But go for a walk and talk," she said.
Westheimer beamed as she received a standing ovation from the over-capacity lecture hall. Following her talk, she signed copies of her book "Sex for Dummies," sold by the Brown Bookstore, and posed for pictures with enthusiastic fans in the lobby of the Salomon Center.
Waiting in line to have his book signed, Faustino Mora '10 said, "I thought (the lecture) was amazing, very informative. She included humor in a really classy way."
His sentiments were echoed by Monica Carvalho '10. "It was really fun and she's absolutely adorable!"
